Drunken Uncle John is a bad, bad man.
He comes running through the house with a garbage can.
Emptying the ash,
Grinding all the trash, in my aunts clean floor.
Drinkin' all the cash like a dog with rabies.
Scaring all the babies.
Auntie is his wife, running for her life.
Spendin' all her time searching for a dime down the side of the sofa
Drunken Uncle John is a lazy loafer.
Laying in his vest with his feet on the best chair.
Auntie'd like to take his boots off but she doesn't dare.
She says "John, you know the drink must go,
You're bringing down our good name."
He says "Who won the ball game?"
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday he was drinking out all night.
So Auntie got the Preacher out to make him see the light.
But when he came to church, he came with a lurch.
Dropping bottle tops in the dime collection.
Singing only hymns of his own selection.
Auntie she was through.
Didn't know what to do.
She grabbed up the baby and a blunderbus
And ran to catch the first train back to us.
When she reached the station she was looking pretty pale,
'Cause Uncle grabbed a kiddie car and headed on the trail.
But when he reached the train, his efforts were in vain.
Aunt and the baby were in a carrige.
"Come back", he yelled, "You stupid train, you got my mariage!"
When he saw his shouting would be all to no avail
He jumped right down upon the track and stood between the rails, rails, rails, rails.
La la la la la la la la.
La la la la la la la la.
The train was chugging down the track but Uncle John refused to budge
The driver said "Get back! Get back! Or in a minute you'll be fudge-udge-udge-udge
Auntie saw what happened. She was crying off her head.
"Although my husband was a drunk I did not wish him dead."
But man he is O.K. He jumped outta the way.
What the driver didn't mention
Uncle John was on the engine.
Hanging on to the caboose.
So Uncle John was still on the loose.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh.
No, yeh, no, yeh, no, yeh, no, yeh, no, yeh, no-o-o-o-o.
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