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When Santa comes with dollies
In his sleigh up in the sky
He's always fat and jolly
Did you ever wonder why?
Don't you wonder how he got
That great big shaking belly?
I'll tell you a big secret:
It's not from toast and jelly
It's not from too much milk and cookies
Left by the fireplace grid
No, Santa eats, Santa eats, Santa eats little kids
That's how he lives forever
To do his yearly giving
Santa's one of the undead
Who must feed on the living
I s'pose he could eat grownups too
But children are so sweet
And one week working at the mall
Gets a year's supply of meat
C'mon, admit deep down inside
You always knew he did
Santa eats, Santa eats, Santa eats little kids
Oh, what a perfect cover, Santa really scored
What other job could give him such a varied smörgåsbord?
He's always very picky when a child sits in his lap
He pokes and prods to see how much is lean and how much fat
And when he finds the biggest one, a tender fat pork chop
He says, "I've got a special gift for you in my workshop"
Then he'll put you in the oven, in your juices you will baste
and when he says you're bad or good, he's referring to your taste
You are looking at me as if none of this is true
Well, I'm your older brother
(satanic voice:)
Would I lie to you?
Don't bother asking Mom and Dad, 'cause they're in on the deal
They've been fattening you up since Easter for Santa's Xmas meal
So on Christmas Eve you'd better
keep your little butt hid
'Cause Santa eats, Santa eats, Santa eats little kids
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