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It's starts after Thanksgiving dinner is done
The Joneses begin it 'cause they're number one
See Gwen and Frank Jones, their kids Mabel and Ed
Assembling a 20-foot Santa Claus sled
Not to be outdone, the Wilsons are roused
Out come the manger, the reindeer, the cows
The Jenkins audition for Santas at noon
And all down the street, Dads are singing this tune:
One more light on the tree
My family, my decorators rally to me
One more strand and we'll win
The War of the Lights has begun once again
Now as I just said, the Jones are number one
Each year it's their house that's the most overdone
But this year, their neighbors' ambitions has grown
And now the whole 'hood is a light battle zone
The Gooptas put up several window displays
With robotic elves carving fruit and cheese trays
Toy polar bears skate the McKenzies' fish pond
And angels and Muppets grace every front lawn
One more light on the tree
My family, my decorators rally to me
One more strand and we'll win
The War of the Lights has begun once again
Last evening I stood on my street at midnight
Gazing up at the Jones' new space satellite
It bombarded our homes with a laser light show
And a soundtrack provided by Lerner & Lowe:
"All I want is a yard somewhere
Filled with displays from Builder's Square
And tinsel in the air
Owwwwwwwwouldn't it be lovely?"
"You win," cried the Gooptas; "You win," said the Wilsons
"You win," said the Jenkins, McKenzies and Gibsons
But Fred Jones cried out, "It's not me, my friends!
That isn't MY satellite; these were not my plans!"
And just then we realized we were not alone
The satellite was a great big U.F.O.
While we wondered of Roswell, the aliens came down
They took all our lights and then beamed out of town
And shaken and worried, amazed and dismayed
My neighbors decided to end the charade
They agreed to a limit: one light strand per home
Lest aliens come back for more loot or to probe
Just one light on the tree
My family, my decorators rally to me
All the best lights within
And Christmastime comes whether we lose or win
(Thanks for the lights, Earth suckers!)
One more light on the tree
My comrades, my podmates all rally to me
One more strand and we'll win
The War of the Lights has begun once again
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